Walking Towards Forever

Finally, after months of planning and a full day of anticipation, it was time to start the ceremony.  Jeff gave me one last hug and went to line up with his guys.

My bridesmaids, parents, and I gathered in the bridal suite and watched through the windows as the last of the guests found their seats. Jeff's sisters took their places in the front row.  His parents walked down the aisle arm-in-arm

Then my uncle escorted my mom to her seat.

The guys made their way to the gazebo:

Then the processional music started and before I knew it my bridesmaids were walking down the aisle.  First went Danielle with our adorable little flower girl, her daughter Elisa

Next came my beautiful sister, Jaymi

I was left standing in the bridal suite with just my dad.  I hugged him an told him thank you for everything.  He told me I looked beautiful.  Then I took his arm and walked out onto the porch to the head of the aisle.  The bridal chorus on guitar began to play.  I squeezed my dad's arm and we stepped down together.

I was so nervous as we walked down the aisle--everyone was staring at us, smiling, wiping tears from their eyes.  I hardly knew where to look.  I couldn't see my mom or grandparents yet, and I looked out at our guests, smiling extra-wide at faces that were so familiar to me.  I blushed and looked down at the ground, and when I looked up again I saw Jeff, smiling at me.

I couldn't control the smile that spread across my face and it was all I could do not to run to him: there was my boy, my love, my buddy, my Jeff.  There was my future, standing up there waiting for me.  All I remember of the rest of the walk down the aisle was the tractor beam pull towards him, his sheer gravitational force.  All I remember is walking toward my husband.

When we got to the front row of chairs, I turned to my mom and grandparents and smiled my biggest, cheesiest smile.  I turned back to my dad and squeezed his arm.  The officiant, Reverend Bruce, asked "Who presents this woman in marriage?" and my dad answered in his confident, proud voice: "Her mother and I do."  Then I hugged him, and when I turned again I saw Jeff walking toward us.  He shook my dad's hand, smiled, and then turned to me.  I linked my arm in his.

Together we walked to the gazebo, took our place, inside, and I turned to face Jeff, taking both of his hands in mine and trying to soak up as much of this perfect moment as I could.

Just the Two of Us

After our first look we had scheduled our bride & groom portraits.  Our photographer paraded us around Red Horse Barn snapping away the whole time as I tried my best to keep my train out of the dirt and my lipstick off of my teeth.  I have to say I was really impressed with the results when we got the pictures back.  Here are some of my favorites (as with all of the pro shots I've posted, these are by Carla Sgroi of Trinity Photography):

 

I was so happy to have this time with my soon-to-be-husband and I think you can tell by the looks on our faces how excited we were to be getting married.  We didn't have to wait much longer...up next: the ceremony!

At Last...

Jeff and I had decided pretty early on that we wanted to do a "first look" before the ceremony.  There were practical reasons to consider, such as being able to do our formal pictures before the ceremony and max out our time at the reception, but more importantly it just felt, to us, like the right thing to do.  Neither of us much likes being the center of attention, and we knew that we would be sort of emotional (or at least entirely goofy) when we saw each other for the first time as a bride and groom.  We didn't want to have that moment in front of a crowd of people because we were afraid the pressure to "get it right" for everyone else would ruin it for us.

I stayed hidden in the bridal suite while a videographer ran to get Jeff.  I saw him walk past the window--I could only see the side of his face and none of what he was wearing--and I totally lost it.  I went crazy-giddy-spastic, unable to wait one more second to see him.  I started jumping up and down, clapping.  "There he is!" I yelled.  The videographer laughed at me and told me I had to wait.

I tried to sneak over to the window to get a better look, but one of the Matts saw me coming.  "Get back in there!" he ordered.  I retreated but wasn't deterred: I still wanted to see me groom!  I caught another glimpse of the back of his head.  His sunglasses were still on and I yelled out the window to anyone who would listen: "Make him take off his glasses!", which prompted everyone within earshot to shout back to me to stop looking and wait.

Finally, I pulled Jaymi aside.  "I really, really want to see him," I told her.  "It's my wedding, and I can't wait to see my groom."

After a long moment of deliberation on her part, she finally replied, "Okay, but he can't see you.  I'll block for you."  She turned around, spread her arms wide, and I crouched behind her.  together we started sneaking over to the window, the videographer laughing at us the whole way.  Halfway there, however, I heard the photographer yell through the window, "Okay, you can come out now!"

I don't even remember walking to the door.  All I remember is stepping outside and seeing Jeff standing there with his back to me.  It took every.single.ounce of self-control I possess not to run up and hug him.

The photographer directed me as I "snuck up" behind him.  I craned my neck to try to see his face, to no avail.

Finally--finally!--she gave me the signal to tap him on the shoulder. 

I reached out and tapped him, and...nothing.  He didn't turn around.  I think he thought I was cheating.  I put my hand on his shoulder and said, "Hey, Buddy."  Finally, he turned around.

It's a blur after that.  I remember smiling.  Further photographic evidence shows that we were, predictably for us, laughing hysterically at what was supposed to be a rather emotional moment:

I vaguely remembered kissing him, but again I had to defer to the photos to make sure this actually happened:

I remember my eyes eventually tearing up--his did too, a little, though he now denies it.

We checked each other out in our fancy duds:

We kissed again:

I twirled and asked him if he liked my dress.  He said, "Yes!  You look amazing."  I told him how handsome he looked.  We couldn't stop staring at each other.

I straightened his tie for him:

And then I noticed he was wearing the wrong boutonniere.  Oops.  I called to my mom to bring out the right one.

Best man Matt to the rescue!

I know a lot of couples think this "first look" thing spoils the fun of seeing each other for the first time as you're walking down the aisle.  And they may be right; after all, it's not like I have the experience to say they're wrong.  But what I do know is that this moment was one of my absolute favorite moments of the whole entire day.  I was so excited to see him, I think I would have RUN down the aisle to him if we hadn't done this first.  And even though there were a few people around (photographer, videographers, bridal party and parents) it was nowhere near the pressure we would have felt in front of everyone else.  And despite all those onlookers, it felt like it was just the two of us.  Like in cheesy movies where the whole scene slows down and the camera focuses only on the two people in the room who are meant to be together.  In spite of its cliche nature, that was exactly how that moment felt.  Bits and pieces of it may be blurry, but the feeling of that moment, of seeing him for the first time, is so vivid in my mind that I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world.

Becoming a Groom

While the girls were busy primping and prettifying, the guys were busy standing around waiting for us.  They were ready eons before we were and honestly to this day I have no idea what they were up to once left to their own devices.  I do, however, have photographic evidence of them getting ready (before us).  Want to see?  I thought so...

Jeff and one of the Matts.  Clearly, the groomsmen were more on top of at than the groom (or the bride.  Oops.).

 Step 1: dress shirt.

Step 2: Tie-less ties (the other Matt)

Step 3: Vest

Step 4: Shoes

Step 5: Cuff links.

Aaand done.  It's so much easier being a guy, isn't it?  That's why I don't feel too bad that they were ready way before us.

Just one finishing touch to the ensemble:

My mom putting on Jeff's boutonniere.  I love this pic, even though it was actually the wrong bout.  Don't worry, we fixed it before the ceremony.

That's all there is to it.  Bride, groom, and bridal party were all finally put together and ready to get this show on the road.  Up next: our first look.

Becoming a Bride

As the wedding details were coming together outside, I was sequestered inside with my parents, bridesmaids, and a whole horde of photographers and videographers to get ready for the wedding.  First I helped Jaymi into her dress:

Then Jaymi, Danielle, my mom, and I squeezed into the bathroom (away from the paparazzi crowd) to put on my very serious undergarments:

While our flower girl waited patiently:

One last spritz of my favorite perfume, "The One" by D&G, which Jeff gave me for our first Valentine's Day:

 Just getting my dress over my head was a group effort:

Then Jaymi and Danielle laced up the back of the dress while my mom helped me with my shoes, jewelry, and garter belt:

I looked in the mirror and my breath caught in my throat.  It was real, it was here--the day I'd planned os long for and thought so much about.  I really was about to get married!